Can 4 Questions Change Your Life?
This is one of my favorite mind-body techniques. When I feel stuck in fear, anger, or grief with no way to move forward, this technique transforms those feelings into peace. Does that sound too good to be true? That’s why I love this technique – it’s that powerful for me. Autoimmune disease and suffering often go hand-in-hand, physically, mentally and emotionally. The Work of Byron Katie is a process for questioning stressful thoughts and the feelings they feed. In this podcast, I offer myself up as a guinea pig with Katie as my guide. At the time of this recording, I wasn’t in remission and feeling frustrated because I was “doing everything right”. Can you relate? Listen to our conversation, and learn how to apply this technique in your own life. Byron Katie has taught this technique to millions of people around the world, and is the author of six books, including the bestselling Loving What is – 4 Questions That Can Change Your Life.
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Show Notes
- Intro (0:00)
- Thank You to Our Podcast Sponsor: Paleo on the Go (1:54)
- A frozen meal delivery service, they have a large menu of items for the paleo autoimmune protocol (AIP).
- Use the code PHOENIX for 10% off your first order.
- What is “The Work”? (3:09)
- The Work is a process of self-inquiry that helps us question stressful thoughts and find the truth underneath.
- There are 4 questions: Is it true? Can you absolutely know that’s true? How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? Who would you be without that thought?
- Turnarounds – Finding examples where the opposite is true.
- It cuts through fear and helps us live truly in the present moment, without living in the past or projecting into the future.
- This isn’t a process we do in our minds. Writing it down and tuning into our bodies is essential.
- Resources:
- An Overview of The Work
- Tools for Doing The Work (worksheets and instructions)
- The Work App on iTunes
- Video Demonstrations
- Helpline with Certified Facilitators
- Demonstrating “The Work” (11:11)
- Eileen offers herself as an example, and Katie takes her through the process of self-inquiry, questioning this stressful belief: I’m disappointed with myself because I’m not in remission.
- While I usually write detailed show notes, this is a process best heard. A summary won’t do it justice.
- When’s the Best Time to Do “The Work”? (22:31)
- Every day. It’s great to do 20 minutes first thing in the morning, to set the tone for your day.
- However, if you’re having a day where you are in a lot of physical pain, be gentle and caring of yourself. That is not the time to do The Work. Instead, wait until you have some breathing room, and then write down the thoughts that consumed you while you were in pain. Work on those – one each day.
- While Katie often tells people to ease into the work by starting with a judgment about someone else, she believes we can start right away with our beliefs about autoimmune disease. Because we are NOT our autoimmune disease.
- Keep an open mind. The ego clings to its beliefs.
- Universal Beliefs (24:34)
- These are stressful thoughts that people all around the world believe, which simply aren’t true. Here’s the full list. Some will be beliefs you hold. These are great statements to process through The Work.
- Stressful thoughts are exhausting. They affect our ability to live a full life. They impact our relationships. They often make us feel like victims. That’s why it can be so transformative to learn how to avoid being ruled by these thoughts.
- Three Kinds of Business (42:13)
- My Business
- Your Business
- God’s Business
- Outro (47:39)
- You can keep up with Byron Katie through TheWork.com. It’s full of free resources to help you implement this technique in your own life. There’s also a calendar of events – from one-day workshops to month-long intensives. She’s also the author of six books, including the bestselling Loving What is – 4 Questions That Can Change Your Life.
- Eileen (your podcast host) is the author of multiple books, written to help people thrive with autoimmune disease. Learn more on the Books Page.
- If you like this podcast, follow or subscribe through your favorite podcast app. You can also subscribe to Eileen’s biweekly newsletter.
- Check out the entire archive of podcast episodes.
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Do You Have My Books?
I’ve known about your website and community for many years, but I only just came across this interview with Byron Katie. I love her Work and have been practicing it for years. It is very, very powerful and can serve as a daily meditation (which is excellent for people who are wary of simply sitting down with only themselves, their thoughts, and their breath!) While the turn-arounds can be magic, I like to spend a lot of time on step 3 as well – “What happens when you believe the thought?” There are so many sub-questions to explore. Digging deep and becoming aware of the effect that the thought alone can have on the physical body, emotions, past and future images, habits and addictions, treatment of self and others, etc. can be eye-opening. This awareness of the cascade of physiological and mental events that goes along with the thought can be such a strong motivator to break the habit of getting so caught up in our repetitive thought patterns.
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your experience with The Work with us, Eileen.
Carrie, what an insightful comment. That’s so true! Thank you so much for sharing your experience.
Thank you for this beautiful interview.
My pleasure, Luliana.
I have practiced the Work for a number of years and utilize it to this day. It has supported me through the depths of depression and anxiety and led me into a life that I wouldn’t have dreamed possible. One that is filled with more inner peace, clarity, and freedom..especially in my relationships with others and my body. I have had severe psoriatic arthritis to the point where I could barely walk or button up a shirt. I am only 31. The Work supported me in finding inner peace despite how my body showed up and supported me in making the decision to go onto medication while continuing my holistic journey. I questioned thoughts like “I am a failure if I go on medication” “I will get cancer” “No one will want to be with me” “I should be doing something else with my life”..and many many more. What I can say is that with the Work to guide me, I simply questioned my stressful thoughts around the body/medications and my ability to have life guide me became clearer and clearer. I genuinely don’t know how I could have gone through the challenges of autoimmunity without the Work. Thank you Eileen for making this podcast available to others who may be interested and benefit the way I have. Your support is a real blessing.
Nishant, your testimonial brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for sharing. It’s such a beautiful thing when we free ourselves from fears and self-judgements.
I listened to this podcast a few days before Christmas and what a blessing that was. I was able to “be present” and “enjoy the moments” so much more than before. Thank you!
Connie, that’s so wonderful! The Work is applicable to so many areas of life. I’m so glad it improved your Holidays. Thanks for sharing.
I have listened to a ton of podcasts over the years and have never listened to one I did not learn something from or did not like. Some were good, some were great, some were excellent. Then there is this one. I am already forwarding the link to others. Thank you for putting yourself out there Eileen.
What a beautiful comment, Curt. Thanks for sharing the podcast with others.
Wonderful podcast Eileen,thank you for this most potent and neglected topic.Also for you sharing with us your own vulnerability.You are an amazing gift to us all!!
Thanks, Gale!
Eileen, thank you for being so generous. You are a gift for all of us. Wishing you and your family a Merry Christmas.
Thanks, Isabelle! Wishing you the same!
All your podcasts are excellent, but this one is especially powerful. Thanks for agreeing to use your own life as an illustration of the Work. I’ll listen to this one again to keep learning.
Michele, thanks for your beautiful comment. I’m so glad sharing my experience is helping others, too.
Wonderful podcast, Eileen! I’ve used the work in my life and found it so helpful, but it was good to hear Katie address autoimmunity and give some tips specifically on this topic. Also, thank you for sharing your experience so vulnerably.
Thanks, Meredith. May we all cultivate peace.
Excellent podcast!! It came on the heels of having just finished a recommended read of The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer, a book that I struggled to get through even though there were some gems along the way. The interview with Katie filled all the gaps missing in The Untethered Soul, with loving compassion, clear language, and a simple course of action. I will be checking out Katie’s website and books. Just what I needed. Thanks Elaine!
I’m so glad, Jennifer. Here’s to perfect timing, and Katie would say all timing is perfect. 🙂
You got Katie on the podcast — you go, girl! Can’t wait to listen!
I’m a big believer in “It never hurts to ask!” But I was shocked and delighted when she said Yes. She’s so humble in person. It was an honor and pleasure to interview her.